Finding Calm in the Chaos: How Micro-Moments of Stability Help Me Navigate Caregiving, Work, and Perimenopause

Every day is a new day when you are a caregiver. Some days feel manageable; others test your patience, resilience, and emotions in ways you never imagined. As a solopreneur and financial advisor, I have always thrived on structure and planning, after all it’s a part of DNA But life has a way of throwing us into situations where predictability is a luxury, not a given.

For me, that reality became even more apparent when by default I had to take on the role of a caregiver for my 85-year-old father, who is navigating dementia. His needs change daily—some days, he remembers things with surprising clarity; other days, even the simplest tasks feel like an uphill battle. Balancing my business with caregiving has been a lesson in flexibility and acceptance.

And if that wasn’t enough, I am also navigating perimenopause—the phase leading up to menopause that brings its own share of unpredictability. The physical symptoms, emotional swings, and fatigue make an already challenging situation even more complex.

How do you show up for others when your own body and emotions are in flux?
How do you take care of a loved one when you yourself need care?

These are questions I wrestle with every day. And through it all, I have found that small, intentional moments of stability make all the difference. Somewhere those 66 hours of therapy I took during Covid phase to process my mom’s death has helped me face this challenge with more control and resilience.

When Everything Feels Unpredictable, Find What Grounds You

Caregiving for someone with dementia is unlike any other responsibility. It’s not just about managing medical care, appointments, or daily routines—it’s about dealing with the emotional weight of watching a loved one change before your eyes.

Perimenopause, in a way, mirrors this unpredictability. One day, I feel energetic and focused. The next, I am battling brain fog, mood swings, or unexpected exhaustion. Sleep disturbances, hot flashes, and a rollercoaster of emotions are now part of my reality. And yet, the world doesn’t pause—I still have responsibilities, clients, and a father who needs me.

Since I can’t control external events, I have learned to focus on what I can control: my mindset, my well-being, and the small pockets of stability I create in my day.

That’s where my morning and night rituals come in.

My Morning Ritual: Setting the Tone for the Day

Mornings used to be about diving straight into work, checking emails, or planning my schedule. But as a caregiver (and now as someone navigating hormonal shifts), I learned that my morning routine needed to serve a different purpose—it had to ground me before the unpredictability of the day began.

Every morning, I dedicate time to:

1. Studying Faith-Based Books
   I start my day with study—reading faith-based books, Buddhist writings, or anything that gives me perspective and strength. These readings remind me that challenges are temporary and that my role as a caregiver is part of my own spiritual growth.
2. Chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo
   My chanting practice is my anchor. It helps me center myself, release anxiety, and set a positive intention for the day. Some mornings, I chant for clarity; other days, I chant for patience and strength. But every day, this practice reminds me that I am not powerless, even in the face of a disease that often feels like it is stealing control.
3. Walking to Clear My Mind
   After chanting, I take a walk. Moving my body, feeling the fresh air, and simply being outside the 4 walls of the home cum office gives me a sense of calm. On good days, it’s a meditative experience where I process my thoughts and emotions. On difficult days, it’s a much-needed escape before stepping back into the responsibilities of caregiving and work.

This morning ritual has become sacred. No matter how unpredictable the day ahead might be, I start with something that is mine—something that refuels me before I give my energy to others.

The Midday Struggle: Managing the Unpredictability of My Body and My Father’s Needs

Between caregiving and running a business, every day is a balancing act. Some days, I have to shift meetings, cancel plans, or put my work on pause to address my father’s needs. Other days, I manage to stay on top of everything, only to end the day completely exhausted.

The hardest part? The emotional and physical toll of it all.

Perimenopause has introduced a new layer of exhaustion, irritability, and sometimes, an overwhelming sense of sadness that I can’t always explain. There are moments when I feel like I have no control over my own emotions, and at the same time, I am expected to be strong, patient, and present for my father.

Through all of this, I have learned that I can’t pour from an empty cup. If I don’t take care of myself, I won’t be able to show up for him—or for my work, my clients, or my own life.

My Night Ritual: Unwinding and Letting Go

At the end of each day, I follow another ritual to unwind, reflect, and prepare for the next day.

1. Chanting to Release the Day
   Just as I start my day with chanting, I end it the same way. But at night, my chanting serves a different purpose. It’s not about setting the tone for the day ahead—it’s about letting go of whatever happened that day. Whether it was a tough caregiving moment, a difficult work decision, or just the exhaustion of balancing everything, my evening chanting helps me release it.
2. Reading to Shift My Focus
   Before bed, I read. Sometimes it’s a spiritual book, sometimes it’s fiction, and other times, it’s just something lighthearted to take my mind off the day. Reading has always been my escape, and in this season of life, it’s one of the ways I give myself permission to step away from my responsibilities for a little while.
3. Meditating for a Restful Mind
   Finally, I meditate. Headspace/Calm/Insight timer apps are my favorites. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, this practice helps me slow down my thoughts and ease into sleep with a calmer mind. It’s a reminder that no matter how chaotic the day was, I have the power to create peace within myself.

To Every Caregiver and Woman Navigating Life Changes: You Are Not Alone

If you are balancing caregiving with work, personal responsibilities, and your own health challenges, I see you. I know the exhaustion, the frustration, the moments of guilt when you feel like you’re not doing enough, and the moments of sadness when you miss the way things used to be.

But I also know that you deserve moments of peace, too. You don’t have to wait for life to become easier to take care of yourself. You don’t need permission to create small rituals that bring you stability.

Your well-being matters just as much as the person you are caring for.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to find your own micro-moments of stability. It could be a morning coffee ritual, a few minutes of journaling, a short walk/run, or even just deep breaths before stepping into your responsibilities for the day.

These small moments won’t change the reality of caregiving or perimenopause, but they will change how you show up for it.

Let’s Support Each Other

If you are in a similar situation, I would love to hear how you create stability in your day. Share your experiences, your struggles, and what helps you stay grounded. Let’s build a community where we support each other—because none of us should have to navigate this alone.